We all run away. From conflict, chaos, criticism. There is something to be said for self-preservation, and that good old "fight or flight" response. But when it comes at the expense of personal fulfillment and professional accomplishment it is time to re-evaluate.
How often do we run away from something bad? A bad relationship ... ending up in one which is even worse. A job you don't like ... ending up in a job you hate. A house that seems too small ... ending up with a mortgage that makes you "house poor" (living in a great house but can't afford anything else). I've done all three.
I am the first to admit it: I don't like conflict. I want everyone to "play nice" and share their toys. I see and acknowledge the talents and accomplishments of others, hoping they will do the same for me.
But when they don't, how do I respond?
Analytical, accountant-type bosses rarely understand the creative process and - in my experience - have a hard time grasping the value of "intangibles." If my work cannot be plugged into a spreadsheet or directly result in cold, hard cash, it doesn't count.
Unfair, I know, but reality.
"The marketing person they needed, but not the one they wanted." I was the proverbial round peg in a square hole, or a thoroughbred racehorse plowing corn.
Many days I was tempted to apply at my local Home Depot ... running away from something bad. And now that I'm only working occasional freelance jobs, the temptation grows stronger daily.
But taking ANY job just to have SOMETHING feels too much like running from something bad (e.g. unemployment, food stamps, panhandling...)
Do I have the guts to readjust my focus?
Instead of running away (or insulating myself) from the bad, I am learning to hone in on the good, the affirming, the positive influences in my life. I want to run towards something that fits me.
Something good.
I was built to fit SOMEWHERE. I have a lot to offer. Looking over past accomplishments I sometimes even impress myself.
And so I stand firm: On a mission to find where I fit, where I can do what I love and make a noticeable contribution to my employer's success.
It is a choice I make every day: To run toward something good. I will let you know when I find it.
Editorial Note: This was a post I wrote in early 2014 but never published. I had just resigned from my job at Global Cynergies and although I knew there was something great out there for me, I still hadn't put my finger on what it was, or even how to find it. I am posting this now as it is a great "snapshot" of where I was at the time; in this process the Lord had me go through ... "holy dissatisfaction," searching, and an ever-increasing desire to find my purpose... where I was CREATED to be. This is the thinking which led me to Colorado and my "Monument Moment" July of that year.
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